I can see from my window my neighbor walking back and forth, into the laundry room, from the trash can to his house, nothing abnormal about his gait or demeanor, except what I know what he is doing.
He is going through their-now just his-possessions.
His wife just passed.
And here it is, the slow days after were the leaves still blow and the sun still rises and falls and he still takes out the trash as before but now it is trash for one or things of her's he will no longer need. And he washes the sheets that hold her smell, and soon it will fade because she will not lay there again.
You would never know, but I know.
And I think about death, how it has skirted my life and never seemingly touched the inner circle of those closest to me. I have never lost someone that I have known deeply. I knew my neighbor, but the comfort in the fact that she is rejoicing with the Lord right now settles the matter in my mind and I can move on.
But his bedside is empty and his routine of visiting her in the hospital has ceased and he will walk home at five o clock every night without holding her hand anymore.
Yet the leaves still blow and the sun still rises and falls and we all still wake,eat, live and move.
Rachel Flores
Sometimes my soul is just tired.
not my body, I got enough sleep, but my soul is weary.
Sometimes I just want to lay on my stomach again.
Sometimes 35 pounds and 35 weeks gets to me.
Sometimes this apartment confines me instead of comforts me.
Sometimes I know what I'm supposed to think but I know what I am thinking.
Sometimes I want to grow up and move on yet grown down and stay a kid. at the same time.
Sometimes I want to be alone but I want to pour my heart out.
Sometimes I just want something I can call my own.
Sometimes this is my conflict.
Sometimes is this day.
I like to make my posts with fancy titles that both start with the same letter.. it's fun! but moving on...
Toddler Tuesday!
I found this website recently that talked about tot school. Pretty much it is starting to take specific time with your toddler and working on skills/projects/knowledge they will need for school. We are planning on homeschooling our little one, so I figured this would just be a good way to slowly move into that practice. The website is here, but if you type tot school into google you will seriously get a wealth of information.
Disclaimer.
this website is overwhelming. seriously. like, "I'm a failure as a mom might as well let a pack of wolves raise my child" type of feeling. It is definitly something to be taken slow, and something to just glean a few good projects and kinda do your own thing with. At least that's how I am making myself feel better about it.
Basically we do a few things:
*Art Project/hands on activity
*Memory Verse
*Letter
*song
*read books
So for these two weeks we are focusing on A, and apples, since it is apple season here in Minnesota. Our verse, our crafts, our letter, all have to do with apples. For projects we have painted with apples, made this torn paper apple you see above (learning how to glue), and have a few baking projects ahead of us with the apples we got at the orchard (field trip!)
Basically I am flying by the seat of my pants here, because I just started without taking to much time to plan things out. So we usually start with the project, and then go over our verse a few times, sing our verse song ( see the link at the bottom) and either learn counting or about the letter. Then we read books based on our subject, the list of which I got from the tot school website and checked them all out from the library. Sensory bins are something I have not done yet, I have just been using craft materials we already have around the house for our projects.
She really likes learning to use the glue stick and paste, use the safe scissors, the book reading, and the songs. But the field trip was for sure her favorite so far.
It is also super cool to hear her recite her verse back to me. She has'nt got it word for word yet, but everyday I ask her about it. I try to make up little hand motions to go with it as well, but It is so amazing to find my two year old already hiding God's word in her heart. This CD is pretty cool, called songs for saplings but I will be honest I have not bought it yet, I just play the sample on amazon over and over ( :
We are doing a fall theme, spending two weeks on each subject every Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday up till thanksgiving. The tot school website kind of set out a special section for fall, so that was easiest this year. I picked those three days of the week because that's when I have a nice little gap in between my own school of about two hours.
So my advice so far:
1. use your library! mine has it where I can search and reserve books online and just come pick them all up at once. super handy!
2. Songs for memorizing! she loves loves loves the music, and the memory verse is the most important part to me.
3. Remember their age I have to tell myself she is only two, so it's ok if things are not perfect. it's how one learns.
4. start figuring out how your child learns. Ariella seems to be very visual.
5. Don't get overwhelmed- the main thing I can tell is that she enjoys the one on one, doing something out of the ordinary time.
*Next to the verses, I would say this time is most important thing for her
and it helps me! I noticed on these days she is more likely to play alone if I focus just a hour on being with her and doing things she enjoys.
6. review. we don't just talk about school during school. I ask her about her verse and letters and such all the time, so it's really incorporated into her life.
