11/11/11

Jocelyn Michelle Flores.

And in this household tonight as we are all together

I feel fullness of Joy. 

This is the end little one.
Tomorrow I will finally meet you, tomorrow I will end the speculations and look into your brown...or blue.. or green.. eyes.
Tomorrow it will no longer be playful bumps and kicks, but ten toes and ten fingers to count.
Tonight is the last time I will feel you moving inside of me, yet I know our closeness will transcend the physical realm, for you are my daughter. I was picked by Jehovah to labor for you and get to know you and love you and share my very body with you for nine months, to prepare you to meet your first rush of true air and to feel your first flecks of sunlight. You are already alive, but we are getting ready to whisk you out and introduce you to  life. to your purpose, to your destiny, to the creation which was also made by the one who made you.

Tonight I can hold you in my womb, safe, enclosed, protected. From evils that might rape your eyes and violence that might strike your ears and putrid smells that might invade your nostrils. This is the effect of the opposite of what you represent right now in our world, this is the effect of sin. And as my hands support the outside of the womb you are in, my lip murmur prayers for the messiah to be known to your gentle heart very, very soon.

He makes beautiful things, he makes beautiful things out of the dust...... (Gungor)



You have been handmade, hand picked, hand placed. The hand of God is on your life already. Jocelyn Michelle Flores, 
Welcome.

 

I can see from my window my neighbor walking back and forth, into the laundry room, from the trash can to his house, nothing abnormal about his gait or demeanor, except what I know what he is doing.

He is going through their-now just his-possessions.
His wife just passed.
And here it is, the slow days after were the leaves still blow and the sun still rises and falls and he still takes out the trash as before but now it is trash for one or things of her's he will no longer need. And he washes the sheets that hold her smell, and soon it will fade because she will not lay there again.
You would never know, but I know.
And I think about death, how it has skirted my life and never seemingly touched the inner circle of those closest to me.  I have never lost someone that I have known deeply. I knew my neighbor, but the comfort in the fact that she is rejoicing with the Lord right now settles the matter in my mind and I can move on.
But his bedside is empty and his routine of visiting her in the hospital has ceased and he will walk home at five o clock every night without holding her hand anymore.
Yet the leaves still blow and the sun still rises and falls and we all still wake,eat, live and move.

Rachel Flores