I was feeling rather confident this morning.  I'm not sure if it was lack of sleep, excitement for finally being home, or the narcotics I have been popping every four hours, but I felt confident. So around eight am I place the happy, just fed Jocelyn in her bassinet and go to the girls room to get Ariella up. There is my proud first born, sitting in her chair butt naked. We start talking and working on getting dressed like any other morning, when I hear Jocelyn crying. So I go get her so she does'nt wake Chris, bring her back into the girls room and start changing her diaper. Ariella is running around chattering like usual and I'm half paying attention and I hear the word potty but usually she waits for me and then I hear

Splash!
"Mommy! I fell! I fell in Mommy I fell!
I dash (as much as any just sliced open woman can dash)  into the bathroom and Ariella is pulling her self out of the toilet, so I scoop her dripping wet bottom half off the toliet,  hear Jocelyn cry and realize I left her alone on the changing table.

dash again. back to the changing table with potty butt trailing behind telling me all about how she is wet and she fell in and she does'nt want to wear real pants today!

phew. this is going to be harder than I thought.

Rachel

 

11/11/11

Jocelyn Michelle Flores.

And in this household tonight as we are all together

I feel fullness of Joy. 

This is the end little one.
Tomorrow I will finally meet you, tomorrow I will end the speculations and look into your brown...or blue.. or green.. eyes.
Tomorrow it will no longer be playful bumps and kicks, but ten toes and ten fingers to count.
Tonight is the last time I will feel you moving inside of me, yet I know our closeness will transcend the physical realm, for you are my daughter. I was picked by Jehovah to labor for you and get to know you and love you and share my very body with you for nine months, to prepare you to meet your first rush of true air and to feel your first flecks of sunlight. You are already alive, but we are getting ready to whisk you out and introduce you to  life. to your purpose, to your destiny, to the creation which was also made by the one who made you.

Tonight I can hold you in my womb, safe, enclosed, protected. From evils that might rape your eyes and violence that might strike your ears and putrid smells that might invade your nostrils. This is the effect of the opposite of what you represent right now in our world, this is the effect of sin. And as my hands support the outside of the womb you are in, my lip murmur prayers for the messiah to be known to your gentle heart very, very soon.

He makes beautiful things, he makes beautiful things out of the dust...... (Gungor)



You have been handmade, hand picked, hand placed. The hand of God is on your life already. Jocelyn Michelle Flores, 
Welcome.